Sometime ago, someone came up with the idea of stifling blogging creativity by simply encouraging people to take a series of quizzes and post the results on their blogs. I’ve been partial to the odd quiz every now and then but it’s far more interesting to read about people than discovering ‘what letter of the alphabet are you?’, or whatever. Here’s roughly what’s happening with the quiz blogs:
You scored: Battle of Stalingrad 72%
You are cold and brutal and hate fascism and communism in equal measure. You enjoy needless bloodshed and see it as necessary to halt the advance of German military power. Your favourite weather is snow and your hobbies include sniping and starving to death.
Other battles you matched:
Battle of Britain: 17%
Battle of Arnhem Bridge: 23%
What is your German aristocratic name?
Your name is: Isabella von Mitzy-Bratwurst
Who should you vote for?
You read the Daily Mail and other right-wing propaganda leaflets. You hate immigrants and hope to one day re-establish the British Empire. You strongly support the death penalty for sodomites and in fact for most things, and are in favour of the arming of teachers and the use of deadly force to deal with yobbish behaviour in the classroom. You should vote for the Nazi Party or join the Young Conservatives.
How patriotic are you?
You rated: Damn straight I’m patriotic! 99%
Your answers were as follows:
1) Do you own a Staffordshire Bull Terrier that has a piece of string for a lead?
2) Do any of your seven brothers and sisters all have different surnames?
3) Is your idea of a good night out drinking a bottle of cider in the park and trying to get off with an orange tan minger?
4) Argos sell high-quality jewellery that looks classy. True or False?
5) Your highest ambition is to drive a Ford Escort with shiny alloy wheels and homemade twin exhaust, yes or no?
You scored a chavtastic 100%. Report to your nearest Job Centre for immediate sterilisation and reassignment. Don’t forget to pick up your giro!
What gender are you?
You are an hermaphrodite. Other hermaphrodites include earthworms and some kinds of tropical fish. Your teenage years may be confusing and you may find solace in poetry, solitude, and music.